I’ve thought about it so many times, and every time I go to say it out loud, I hesitate. Maybe she would actually fit well into my life — I keep finding so many small overlaps in our choices, little points of connection. (Obviously, finding common ground doesn’t mean we have to be together — that’s not what I’m saying.) But it could be something real, something possible, if only she were ever interested too.

In all our ordinary conversations, I’ve always found myself standing in front of a wall. And I’ve never pushed, never forced anything.

Even if these similarities are only partially true, they still reflect a lot of the image I’ve built up in my mind. In short: there’s a connection, but that doesn’t mean it makes sense to lay it all out clearly.

It feels like this might end up being one-sided — maybe it’s the kind of thing where only one person has been thinking about it, feeling it, while the other isn’t interested at all, doesn’t even know, doesn’t even want to know. It’s happened to me once or twice before. So what.

I’ll let her go — maybe someday.

Or maybe, one day, I’ll owe it to myself to sit beside her and just talk: “How was your day?” Some evening, on some balcony — just like I’m sitting here alone right now, except then she’d be there beside me. This is just a fantasy, a false hope. But is there any harm in letting my mind drift into that space if it makes my heart feel a little lighter?

My inner sky is mine alone to fill.